Leap Into Song: "New Born" by Muse

I wish to begin what I hope will be a recurring feature on this blog, although I can't guarantee that. While I am hopelessly inept when it comes to singing or playing any instruments, I am still a keen lover of music. So I hope to occasionally post a song that's one of my favorites or just taps into something within me in an especially vivid way, and to describe some of my thoughts related to each song.

My first example is from one of my favorite current bands, Muse. Admittedly, "New Born" isn't one of my favorite songs by Muse, but it interests me for another reason. I listened to "New Born" again today for the first time in a long time, possibly ever. Instantly, I loved the music - but the lyrics underwhelmed me. So I set a challenge for myself: could I write lyrics for "New Born" that I liked better than the ones Muse wrote originally?

Here's the original video for Muse's song "New Born":

Now, I hope you will listen to the video so you can hear the original lyrics and understand their role in this song. If you have trouble following along in the video, here are the original lyrics to "New Born" (copyright 2009, Muse/Warner Music Group):

                                                                  Link it to the world

Link it to yourself
Stretch it like a birth squeeze
The love for what you hide
The bitterness inside
Is growing like the new born
When you've seen, seen
Too much, too young, young
Soulless is everywhere

Hopeless time to roam
The distance to your home
Fades away to nowhere
How much are you worth
You can't come down to earth
You're swelling up, you're unstoppable

'cause you've seen, seen
Too much, too young, young
Soulless is everywhere

Destroy the spineless
Show me it's real
Wasting our last chance
To come away
Just break the silence
'cause I'm drifting away
Away from you

When you've seen, seen
Too much, too young, young
Soulless is everywhere

Destroy the spineless
Show me it's real
Wasting their last chance
To come away
Just break the silence
'cause I'm drifting away
Away from you

Now, here are my new lyrics to "New Born" - note, I tried to keep as many of the elements of the original lyrics intact as I could -- because of how they work with the music, and because I want to trust Muse's judgment as much as possible -- even when I try to "improve" their lyrics, haha:

Say it to the world

Say it to yourself

Shout it like new birth pangs

The unknown power you hide

The burning love inside

Is growing like the new born

Since you've gone, gone

Too far, you know, know

Silence is everywhere

It's your time to roam

We all call one place home

We all start from nowhere

How much is life worth?

We all walk the same earth

Keep looking up, you're unstoppable

'cause you've gone, gone

Too far, you know, know

Silence is everywhere

Always be fearless

Show me what's real

Using our last chance

To find our way

Just break the silence

'cause we're trying to say

that we're here, too

Since you've gone, gone

Too far, you know, know

Silence is everywhere

Always be fearless

Show me what's real

Using our last chance

To find our way

Just break the silence

'cause we're trying to say

that we're here, too

What do you think? Try watching the video again, but hum my lyrics this time. Does it work? Which version of the lyrics do you prefer? (I do realize that my more optimistic lyrics may undermine the darkness of the music, but I feel the two could be complementary. However, I am not a world-famous musician - you, dear reader, probably aren't, either - but I could still use your input!) Thanks!